"Lars and the Real Girl" is about a guy named Lars (played by Ryan Gosling) who is lonely (though somewhat by choice), extremely socially awkward, but very sweet. He lives in a garage apartment, just a few steps away from his brother's home. His brother has a wife who is newly pregnant, and she regularly reaches out to Lars to join them for meals. Lars almost always refuses. She worries. The brother shrugs it off and tells her not to fret--that Lars is fine and that he's always been a little strange.
One day, Lars, out of his loneliness, orders a life-sized doll off the internet as a companion. The doll, whom he names Bianca, is actually a sex-toy, which everyone else seems to notice but Lars. Lars suffers from a delusion that Bianca is actually a real person, and he begins a (non-sexual) relationship with her.
The brother and wife are, of course, in shock. Out of fear/concern, they convince Lars that Bianca may need a "check up" at the doctor's (who also happens to be a psychiatrist). At the doctor's (played by Patricia Clarkson), they are first told of his delusional state. When they ask what can be done, the doctor tells them that they must go along with it (much to their embarrassment) until they can find out what part of Lars or his memory the delusion is coming from. The doctor agrees to talk to Lars every week during Bianca's "check ups", to see if she can help get to the heart of the matter.
This is where it gets interesting. The brother and wife ask for help from their community and church. Together, they all accept Bianca and treat her as a real person for Lars' sake, ultimately getting to the bottom of his hurt, and leading to his healing.
Wow, right?
The message of the movie--getting to the bottom of fear and hurt through LOVE and CARE--hit me like a ton of bricks. It's something we all need to learn, and man, am I preaching to the choir when I say that.
As I've said before, living with Peenie is fun, but it also can be tough. Very tough. This week, especially. After we got back from the hospital last Saturday, I spent the next two days battling her on taking her medication. Peenie was resistant, insisting that there was nothing wrong with her. I kept insisting that there was. Out of fear for her health, I began to take on a forceful and patronizing tone. This obviously made things worse, and the little nut continued her revolt until we both exploded.
On Sunday night, I realized that I needed to change my approach. Instead of treating her like an unruly child, I needed to be more loving and more patient. Who wants to take orders or receive help from someone who's forceful, anyway?
It's now Friday, and we're in a completely different place now. Because of this different approach, we've had a great week! Talk about a turn-around! Peenie is taking all of her meds, we've both been in contact with her doctor, and she's actually LET me help her with some things that she normally wouldn't.
Peenie and I were both afraid when we got home from the hospital, and Peenie was hurting from embarrassment and the realization of her age and condition. I initially took the wrong approach with forceful words on the importance of her medication, but now I know that was wrong of me. I need to remember that in this relationship (and in all relationships) it's best to get to the bottom of fear and hurt through love and care.
I'll leave you with this:
A picture of Peenie during her check-up at Dr. G's! Cutest patient ever, right?
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