But really, let's be real. I know that you all are just curious about the the person that is Peenie. Honestly, had I chosen to write a blog about myself, there just wouldn't have been as much curiosity...or as much to write about! But you know what? I am A-OK with that! If I live to be as old as Peenie (approximately another 67 years), maybe I'll become a legend and one of my grandchildren will write about me for posterity's sake. Hey, it could happen! I got some of those Peenie genes, you know! But until then, this blog will be mostly about the one and only Peenie. Or Peanut, as I've grown accustomed to calling her these days.
For those of you who know Peenie or have met her, I need not explain. For those of you who have not, picture this: a living cartoon character. I know, I know, sounds disrespectful, right? But just ask anyone who knows the Peanut and they'll back me up. While I'm at it, I should really explain the name Peanut. Here are bullets to make it easier:
-She's tiny...like a peanut. Tops out at about 90 pounds. Maybe less.
-She's a nut. Kinda crazy. But not in a bad way...most of the time. In a cute kind of way!
-She is nuts...about nuts. The woman cannot get enough nuts. I swear she's part squirrel.
If that explanation isn't enough for you (and I'll go ahead and say it's not because even if I write on this blog every day for a year, it will still not be enough to explain Peenie), here is a list I've compiled of her favorite things:
1. Getting her hair cut. She goes to see Don every two weeks so that he can color, cut, and style her hair into that infamous shape (one side turned under, one turned out) that no one else could rock but Peenie. Going to Don's is like the quest for the Holy Grail. All things must be put on hold until hair appointment is accomplished.
2. Scalding hot coffee. If it's not boiling, you better just go brew another pot.
3. Ironed top sheets. She makes a bed better than a major general.
4. Animal print. Makes up at least 1/2 her wardrobe.
5. Applewood Smoked Bacon. She may be 90 pounds, but she eats two pieces every morning and will rave about it should you ever ask her what bacon to stock your fridge with.
6. Revlon Lipstick in "Orange Flip". Yes, I know. The name of her chosen shade could not be any more perfect.
7. Polished silver. Always. And God forbid you mix the stainless cutlery in with the silver.
8. Fresh flowers. In her home and at Tom's (my uncle) dental office. Every Tuesday.
9. The Fresh Market, Oriental House, and Rafferty's...without these three establishments, she would "just have no one to visit".
10. Hannah Anderson Long Johns. She wears them every night. My favorite are the red, white and green ones--she looks like a candy cane.
11. Paw.
12. Phone calls in the morning from her children. First, Bruce (3rd child and a PA that lives in Morganton, NC), at 7:45 on the dot. Second, Susan (my momma, 4th child—I’ll cover her MUCHLY on the blog, I’m sure) around 8:15, and sometimes, Jayne (the eldest of Peenie’s babes who runs her own nonprofit in Pittsburgh). That leaves Tom (2nd child and the dentist uncle that lives next door—he’s excused from morning phone calls due to proximity) and Will (endodontist who lives in Spartanburg—but he’s got kids to get to school, so Peanut excuses him, too).
13. Her “grands”! There are 13 of us and she talks about us
NON-STOP. Cousins, if you want to know what Peanut thinks about any of your
recent decisions, I hear it all now and I’m open to bribery.
14. Half and Half. Pronounced “Haeve and Haeve”. Eggs.
Pronounced “A-ggs”. You can take the Peanut out of Kentucky, but you can’t take
Kentucky out of the Peanut.
15. Her house. Don’t even think about suggesting the unspeakable.
I won’t even speak of it now.
…And those are a few of Peenie’s favorite things!
I’ll leave you with this:
This morning, I realized I forgot my travel mug at work. So
Peanut handed me a mason jar with a handle. How cute is that?!
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