Deaf Peenie, Mute Katy

Though she doesn’t like to admit it, Peanut is nearly deaf. And since she is nearly deaf, she sometimes thinks I am a mute. Because unless I am speaking like a Shakespearean actor on opening night at the Globe, she either misses or misinterprets half of what I say. So, these days I feel like I’m yelling a lot. I imagine my old acting coach saying, “Do not YELL. From the DIAPHRAGM, Katy! Enunciate. And don’t trail off at the end of your sentences!” But that’s kind of hard to do ALL OF THE TIME. So here’s another debate we’ve been having: The Great Hearing Aid Debate. Sure to be many debates this year. We should televise and run a poll to see who gets the popular vote! But alas, I’m sure Peanut would win due to cuteness.

A couple of Saturdays ago, I hopped in the shower after a run. Minutes later, I heard the back doorbell ring. I knew Peanut was in the kitchen, so I figured she’d get it. But after a few more doorbell rings, I got out of the shower, put on a robe, and decided to go answer it myself. As I walked through the family room, Peanut (who was still in the kitchen) asked me what I was doing out of the shower and was I DRIPPING on the FLOOR?! I didn’t answer her, but I did answer the door. It was a nice lady from church bringing the two of us a casserole. Very thoughtful! Peanut came around the corner, mouth dropped open, apologizing to both me and the lady that she didn’t hear the doorbell…cause it’s just too durn quiet. I just looked at her like, “Mmmmhmmmm, sure. Then how did I hear it in the shower?” Sigh. In the words of many a Southern woman before me, “Bless her heart”. Her little deaf heart!

I’ve mentioned the idea of Peenie getting a hearing aid to her a few times. It just isn’t safe for the little nut to be at home alone, unable to hear the doorbell and the phone. The first couple of times, my suggestion was met with sass and something about causing her grave “consternation”. However, I’ve FINALLY gotten her to admit that yes, she is hard of hearing but no, she WILL NOT wear one of those hearing aids because they’re for “old people”.

Yep, you heard her right. Old people.

So, since there’s no way I can convince her that she is, in fact, “old people”, my next strategy of attack will be to see if I can get her to wear a hearing aid ONLY at the house, emphasizing that she does not have to wear it to The Fresh Market or to Oriental House or to Word of Mouth or anywhere else where her admiring public might think that she appears “old”. We’ll see if this plan works.

As far as the Great Kitchen Debate went last night, I made myself roasted rosemary sweet potatoes, garlicky green beans, and lemon chicken. Win!

I'll leave you with this:

Peenie not only pays her hired help what they're owed, she also gifts them with little treats every week. Frida, the housekeeper, is given fresh cinnamon roles and orange juice to take home with her. The yard man, "PeeWee" (no relation), is given lunch money so that he can go get himself some "pickups" to stave his hunger around noontime. I think Peanut's love language is gifting because she gets so much joy from it! But I don't think Frida and PeeWee love the nut for her gifts alone. They've told me they absolutely adore her and would do just about anything for her because they know she cares about them so much. And I can say I know exactly how they feel. Exactly. And I try to tell her that every day.

...I'm just not sure if she hears me.