The Nightwatchman and the Mouths of the South

Hello, friends!

It was a busy weekend of visitors at the house! Mom arrived early Saturday afternoon (just in time for lunch at Word of Mouth), and James, my boyfriend, got in around 5. Though I gave him the option of meeting up downtown, he bravely agreed to say hello to mom and Peenie. Yes, I think he might deserve a medal for being willing to subject himself to (though it was brief) meeting the “mouths of the South” (as my brothers and dad call them) at the same time—a situation that many-a-man would run from. But he handled it like a champ, and Peenie later said (and mom agreed) that she liked him and that he had “nice teeth”, which believe me, is the highest compliment you can get from an Edwards!

Peanut was “all jacked up” on Saturday morning to see mom (not much else gets her as excited), and she squealed with glee when she heard the garage door open. Soon after, mom came upstairs to greet us. She was wearing jeans, a white shirt, and a scarf. This is what went down:

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Peenie (Looking at mom’s jeans): SUE! Those dudes are TIGHT! How’d you get those on?!

Mom: They’re skinny jeans, mom. They’re like leggings…a little stretchy cause they have some lycra in them. They’re comfortable!

Peenie: Skinny jeans? YOU’RE skinny! Sue, you wouldn’t last five minutes in a blizzard! Men want some meat! Not some little weasel that’s just falling out!

Mom (sarcastically): Thanks, mom. I’ll try to remember that.

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…and now you understand why they’re called the “mouths of the South”.

After a few minutes of catching up with mom, we headed to Word of Mouth for lunch and then to The Fresh Market to purchase ingredients for my Aunt Amy’s chili and for my very own Quiche Lorraine—our two culinary goals for the weekend. As you know, Peanut fights me on my kitchen use, but when mom comes to town it’s two against one, so we knock out as much cooking as possible. By the way, both of these recipes are DELICIOUS (if I do say so myself), so let me know if any of you would like to have them! Anyway, once we got back home, mom and I started on the chili while Peanut stared out the window and bemoaned the torrential downpour that was going on outside. (We were just glad that there was something to distract her from our kitchen usage.) The little nut HATES storms, friends. Hates ‘em. She says that when she was growing up on the farm in Kentucky, she watched barns and houses “burn to the ground” after storms came through. So to this day, she becomes really fearful when the weather is  a-ragin’. So as we cooked, we tried to calm her down with family memories until she changed the subject to my outfit choice for the day, and told me to “go put on some heels and a cute skirt”. I refused, politely. A response which prompted her to try and “sway” me for the next 30 minutes, which proved as good as a distraction as any, so I just let her do it!

By the time James came to pick me up at 5, the chili was finished, and Peanut and mom were ready for a cozy night at the house. We said our goodbyes and headed downtown for the evening, and mom says that she and Peenie went to bed around 9.

This is where the story gets pretty funny, friends.

James and I stayed out pretty late (if you’ve ever seen downtown Greenville, you’d understand why—it’s GORGEOUS), and it was after 1 when he dropped me off at the house. It was dark outside, of course, and we knew that mom and Peanut were sleeping, so we very quietly opened the garage door and turned the basement lights on so we could say goodnight to each other. All of the sudden, my cell phone started ringing, and both of us froze. We were being quiet as mice! Had we woken up the Peanut?!

Nope. It was my Uncle (and backdoor neighbor) Tom (aka: the nightwatchman).

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Me (whispering and confused): Hello…?

Tom: Katy? It’s Toddie. Hope I didn’t wake you. But the garage door is open and the basement lights are on!

Me: That’s ok, you didn’t wake me! Um…I know. I’m actually IN the basement right now. My boyfriend’s dropping me off. He was…uh, just leaving.

Tom (chuckling): Oh…well, that’s awkward! Sorry! Ha! Goodnight!

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…busted by the nightwatchman. To make matters funnier, he had called mom before he called me, which woke BOTH Peenie and her out of a dead sleep. So the moral of this story is, even if you’re trying to be as quiet as a field mouse, if you’re living with family, you still might wake up the entire block!

Yesterday morning we made a big breakfast--Toddie brought us his homemade blueberry waffles and as we ate, he and the “two mouths” giggled and teased me about the “garage incident”. He headed back across the yard, and us gals talked and drank coffee till Peenie said our “eyeballs were gonna pop out” if we drank any more. We decided to clean up and take a long walk at Falls Park.

We got our “exercise clothes” on (for Peenie, this constitutes a cashmere cardigan, full make-up, jewelry, support hose, a khaki skort, her tennis shoes, handbag, and of course Orange Flip) and headed downtown. Here’s a picture of the gloriousness that is Falls Park:

The little nut did GREAT walking the bridge and it’s surrounds. Mom and I were so proud of her! We lunched at Coffee Underground, took a tour of Anthropologie where Peenie bought some plaid tights (SO CUTE), and then took her home to get on her jammies. Mom and I then went on a KILLER walk/run. When we came back, Peanut squalled at us for “being gone too long”, but I made Quiche Lorraine for dinner (YUM), and she got happy again real quick. Ate TWO pieces and a cookie! Go, Peanut, go!

All of us went to bed early after a weekend full of food, laughter, and good memories!

I’ll leave you with this:

When we were at Coffee Underground, I asked mom and Peanut to pose for a picture together. But I couldn’t get the little nut to look at the camera! When I asked her to look at me, she said, “Sometimes I don’t like to look at the camera. Kinda scary. So I do a side thing.”

Here she is, doing her “side thing”: